I thought I was prepared to be a parent.
I mean after all I have been dad for almost eight years now. I've changed my fair share of diapers, packed enough school lunches, and washed numerous loads of laundry. Turns out that that is the easy stuff.
No one ever prepared me for the emotions involved in this whole parenting thing.
It's not something that you read about because I don't know if anyone can actually describe how you are going to feel at any given moment. One second you are happy as can be that your son got a hit in a T ball game, the next you're crying your eyes out dropping your kid off on the last day of preschool.
That was me.
I didn't realize how difficult of a moment this would be for me, seeing him disappear through the doors of his school of two years for the last time. My little guy is going in those doors a little boy and coming out a big kid. There will be no more driving him to school everyday blaring one of his favorite songs on the radio. No more opening the door for him and telling him to have a great day. Our little morning routine is changing, forever.
My little boy is changing, forever,
He's growing up. Fast. As much as I don't like to see it happen I am going to have to accept that reality sooner or later. One of these years I will be dropping him off at college seeing him disappear through the doors of his dormitory. I'm not prepared for that.
I don't know if ever will be.
I have felt the same way about parenting. I am not into it as long as you are but there are days I am so proud the next I am getting all teary eyed because I can see my son growing up so fast.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot! Now you've gone and made me feel feelings.
ReplyDeleteYou said so much in such a short post but I'm writing through tears to say just don't blink..you will wake up and he will be 10 and getting ready for middle school. The emotions only get bigger I think, I'm already a blubbering mess. Will he be taking the bus next year? That was a rough one for me, I wanted to drop her off the first day but she couldn't wait to get on the big kid bus...sniff..
ReplyDeleteWhat are these strange things that we possess?
ReplyDeleteBeginnings I am fine with. Endings not so much. Amy I hear you, these past eight years have gone so fast and so slow at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same about my daughter...and she is only 8 months old. I feel like if I'm not with her every moment...I'm missing out :(
ReplyDeleteSeriously dude, making me all teary at work. If I get fired for being, um, human or something I'm totally blaming you.
ReplyDeleteNice sentiments expressed beautifully. Thanks for that. Mine's 11 now and we've seen a lot of "lasts" lately. I miss my little guy but I do like the big guy he's becoming, too. I'm going home to give him a big, fat hug while he's still letting me.
Totally spot on. Peanut 'graduates' on Tuesday. I'm going to be a mess. Luckily she still goes to her school for summer camp thru August. But this is a big change and you're right about never being ready. I look at her sometimes and think, "where did my baby go?" Time...
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how the lasts hit you. The firsts seem to be memorable, but it's the last that make me really think about how big they are getting.
ReplyDeleteI cried on my wedding day but I have never cried so much as when I had kids. Years of joy, tears of sadness, tears of pride. Damn these kids making us blubbering fools.
ReplyDeleteParenting is one of those life choices that is never stagnant. Just when you think you get it figured out, the rules change. And it never gets easier, it just gets different. I am not ready for Youngest to be in his last year of elementary school... for Oldest to be going to Middle School, or for my step son to graduate high school last weekend. After all, when I met him, he was younger than Youngest is now.
ReplyDelete*sigh* The books never tell you that....
There is no What to expect when you are an emotional wreck books. Of course you can't really capture that.
ReplyDeleteIt goes crazy fast!
ReplyDeleteMy oldest just finished 4th grade and her last days in the elementary school. She starts in the primary center next year. I don't know if we'll ever be ready for the milestones are kids hit. We just have to do our best to enjoy them through the tears.
ReplyDeleteWe know that they are coming, we prepare ourselves for te day, and then we realize we are totally unprepared for the emotion of it all.
ReplyDeleteIt does stink and stink out loud!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter had a moving up ceremony to middle school and my big guy had one as he heads into high school. Both ceremonies were only a day apart.
Seeing my daughter's the day before really set me into an emotional spin. She was just a baby only a short time ago taking her first steps across the living room floor.
Then watching my son and all his friends leave the eighth grade forced me to recall the days of his first play dates with some of these kids.
Good post. Just remember as your son grows and changes he doesn't need to really go away to college. HA! Make sure you have lots of tissues, my friend.
My older baby just graduated from HS, & I felt the same damn way. Even though he's decided to stay home & attend the local community college, it's not the same. He's here, but he isn't... he's a young man now, living his own life. I'm so proud, & sad, & excited, & filled with dread all at once. My Little just finished 1st grade, & seeing her the last day of school killed me. She isn't really a toddler, or a little girl, anymore. She is a full-on KID. She has her own thoughts & ideas, & draws us into discussions. *sigh*... where did my babies go???
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