I must have missed the awards show.
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| The Perfect Parent? |
When did we decide that there is a perfect way to raise a child? They never handed me a manual at the hospital explaining to me that there was ONE way to do it. Actually there are a billion ways to do it. Just because something works for you does not mean that it is going to work for me. Conversely, if there is something that I do as a parent with my kids that works, it might not be the best thing for you.
I am not going to go into your house to judge you as a parent and I would hope that you stay out of mine. I was not put on this planet to judge or be judged. I might have an opinion, but that doesn't mean what I think you are doing is wrong. If it works for you AWESOME.
I know how hard this parenting business can be. It's a struggle at times. The only thing that makes it harder is when people question what I do and go on with their self righteous nonsense. We get it. Your kid can walk and recite the alphabet before mine can even crawl, fantastic. Mine can do things that your kid can't, like throw a baseball or kick a soccer ball. Aren't kids great like that? Each can do something that the other can't and it's not because we as parents are perfect.
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| Courtesy Time magazine |
There has been so much talk in the past couple of days about this Time magazine cover with the lady breastfeeding her three year old. Yeah it's a shocking cover. Why? Because it's something none of us get to see everyday. But we shouldn't be judging the woman for a decision that she is making as a parent, just like she shouldn't judge us if we don't choose to live her life style.
It works for her and for her kids and that's all that matters. If you chose to breastfeed your child that long, that is your business. We stopped at the age of one, and that's OUR business. If someone chose NOT to breastfeed their child for some reason that is THEIR business.
We need to stay out of each others way and just let us be the parents that our kids need us to be.
If they handed out an award for the perfect parent, we should all get one
Best parenting advice ever given. Ever.
ReplyDeletePerfectly said! The variability that comes with parents, even those in the same household with the same children, is extremely high. We're all individuals, parents and children alike. There is no one way to parent that fits for all. And, there shouldn't be. Just like there are no "perfect" parents, there are no "perfect" children. We're not manufactured robots, after all. We do the best we can, learn from our own experiences and others as well. Thanks for sharing yours.
ReplyDeleteWe try to find what works... We can all learn from each other, but there is no right way.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I AM perfect? Probably not.
ReplyDeleteI feel in a roundabout way you're judging me.
ReplyDeleteWell... Maybe I am, but maybe I'm not. You be the judge.
ReplyDeleteSo many parenting books. So many websites. So many magazines. So many television programs. All telling us what we're doing wrong and how we should be parenting. I'm with you John. Excellent post.
ReplyDeleteIt's a gazillion dollar industry. We can bits an pieces from everywhere, it's up to us to put the puzzle together and figure out how it all fits. We could all write a book and have all the answers and no answers at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI threw out all the so-called parenting books about 6 months after my first child was born. All they did was frustrate me and make me feel like a failure. Once again, you state it just like it is! I'm actually getting ready to post about that Time article as well... (www.vossfamilybainbridge.blogspot.com)
ReplyDeleteIt's funny reading those books and magazines because it seems like those people NEVER HAD KIDS. Some of the nonsense spewed is ridiculous.
ReplyDelete"We need to stay out of each others way and just let us be the parents that our kids need us to be."
ReplyDeletePrint up the t-shirts, that's the line of the year right there. Well said.
You know, I am personally one that has had to grow in this area. Since having kids and becoming a parent I have been on that train track that our way is the best way and I wanted to teach, inform, educate others on the way we did things. Tracy beat me to the post and back that people are different and the way people parent are different. Just cause we dont agree, doesnt mean either way is wrong. I think only way we can be judged as perfect parents is when our kids look at us as kids and tell us they love us and then when they are adults and tell us they think we did a good job. Great post my man. Great post
ReplyDeleteEveryone should get an award that is an active part in their kids life. Its like a participation award. There will no awards if you don't try.
ReplyDeleteI think the reason so many people take offense to the magazine cover in question is because it's specifically stated ("Are you mom enough?") to incite argument. As in, what she's doing is suddenly the new norm, & if we aren't doing it that way too, we're somehow lacking as parents. I for one don't like being told that NOT nursing my children after they're old enough to grab a jug of milk out of the fridge makes me a crappy mom. But you're right --- I shouldn't look down on her choice any more than I want to be looked down upon. My angst would be better aimed at the stupid title which is on purpose flaming those detested "mommy wars". Thank you for putting me in my place & shedding light on a touchy subject. You're a good man!
ReplyDelete