I've decided to unclassify myself as a stay home dad. I've grown tired of the label, in fact I've grown tired of all labels all together. I've been at the job for a little over a year and a half an I can honestly say that the term Stay at Home Dad just bugs me.
Why do I have to be labeled as such when someone asks what I do for a living? I am first and foremost a dad, and everything else is none of your business. If you see me with my kids anywhere at any time of day, don't assume that I have taken the day off to spend time with them. Look at me as a father who is enjoying being with two of the people he cares about the most. Why we are at the park or grocery store together should be of no concern to you. I am a dad and that's it.
Why does a mom that works have to be labled a working mom? You don't see dads who are announced as working dads. Can we all just please get over this? My wife works; works her ass off really, probably one of the hardest working people that I have ever seen. She is not a working mom, she is a mom who happens to work. Just like there are dads that work, but for some reason we look at my wife and label her a working mom, as if that is some sort of bad thing.
Why do we label people?
Are we any less of a parent with these labels attached to us? I would think not. Regardless of what you do, you only want what is best for your kids. What role each of you plays in your family shouldn't matter to anyone else but yours.
So from now on, if you see me at the store or my wife getting on the bus to go into the city, instead of labeling us as a stay at home dad and working mom, just look at us as PARENTS doing what they know is right for their kids.
Very well said. Labels can be so limiting.
ReplyDeleteI agree. SAHD, doesnt mean your just Staying at Home. Same for the moms. Does this mean I am a SAWD (stay at work dad) since I am here all the time. Its not like you are sitting on your ass watching sportcenter all day. I have been able to take a day off and stay at the house when Tracy is sick and let me say, Its no day off. NO WAY. We all work hard and it just so happens that some of us do it from a home and some from a office. I do have to say that I am jealous. I would love to work at home more than my office.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. We're all parents. Plain and simple. Although, if someone wanted to label me the 'Most Dangerous Man in the World' I wouldn't argue.
ReplyDeleteIf you wanted to label someone as the most awesomest human being fine, but for the most part labels aren't nice
ReplyDeletewe all work hard
ReplyDeleteI have heard that about you... you wear your danger label well
ReplyDeleteGreat points, I find myself putting them on my own situation which would be the working dad/kinda working mom but mostly stay at home...my only advice is to wear a sign on outings so not to be reported for playing hooky - or a shirt flipping them off for thinking that in the first place..
ReplyDeleteI'm just a dad who happens to stay at home during the day with his kid. My wife is a mom who just so happens to be at work for a good chunk of the day.
ReplyDeleteWe're both doing what we need to do to provide for our family and, as you said, that's all that matters in the end.
My question is this... What if you work from home AND take care of the kids? Is there a label for that? lol
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness I have been coined with the term, "Male Mommy" because I happen to have my three kids living with me. It bothered me at first, but then I realized that people need to label everything, including other people. I even had folks wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. Ha!
I think that as more dads take care of the kids and more moms go to work, things will even out.
Great post, John!
When you think about is EVERYTHING gets labeled. You my friend are a "single dad" I considered you a dad, who just happens to be single.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely!
ReplyDeleteCheers! I feel the eyes of moms and others out in the middle of the day potentially assuming I'm unemployed, but I'm comforted by knowing secretly that my story would make that person eat so many words. I'm lucky enough to live in a creative area where there are lots of people of all walks of life out and about during the day, many work from home or work odd hours creatively, so it's not like I'm the only dude in the grocery store in the middle of the day. Sometimes the only dad at the park, and certainly the only dad at the rec. center class we take together, but hey it's other dads' loss that they can't share this time with their kids.
ReplyDeleteI am labeling you as a "coffee loving mom" it's the only label that I will allow
ReplyDeleteYou could label me as the most awesomest human being and I wouldn't mind but some of the other labels people choose to place on me, nuh uh. Don't want em and they aren't at all helpful. I'm with you dude!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. I am Jennifer. Period.
ReplyDelete:-0
I wish you luck stripping labels...I think there should only be two - Good and Bad!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely wouldn't argue with that one.
ReplyDelete