My Arms Have Pits

Sadly that is my problem.

If it wasn't for those stupid hairy beasts resting under my arms I would have no problems in life.  Sure my kids act up every now and then, what kids don't.  My house isn't always clean, I don't live in a museum, so why should it always be spotless.  My check engine light is always on in my car, but I think that's just a way of getting us to spend money at the dealership.  No my big problem is my armpits.

I am not going to lie to you, there are times when they smell, my wife will argue that it's all the time, but it's not.  At least I don't smell them anyway.  I use that combination antiperspirant and deodorant stuff that is all the rage in the western world, and I think that is where my problems lie.  Some sort of crazy chemical reaction is slowly destroying everything that I own.

Every shirt that I have ever worn is ruined.

Stupid armpit stains have rendered most of my shirts unwearable.  Now they are most prominent in my white shirts so I don't wear them any more, but slowly I can see them destroying EVERY shirt that I own.  I have tried to buy more black, blue and red shirts to camouflage this problem, but I can see a problem there as well.  I think the only option I have is to buy a shirt either the color of an arm pit stain or somehow try to make arm pit stains fashionable.

Sometimes I sweat

Sadly I don't think that either is an option.

I have tried everything in the book, different kinds of deodorants, different detergents, sprays, magic, you name it, I've done it.  My wife says I should completely shave my pits, as she thinks the hair is the issue.  I think the issue there is that I don't want my arm pits to itch any more than they do.  If I rub them they just might ruin my shirts even more or more quickly.

Please don't take pity on me, I am not the only one with this problem.

Even Miss Kentucky has the problem

After some research on this issue, it's amazing what you can find these days, I have come to the conclusion that I am not alone in this.  There are men, and women, everywhere that have a full wardrobe of shirts with yellowing underarms.  Don't think you haven't looked down at your own clothes as you read this, I know you have.  You have tried yourselves to figure out a way to stop this craziness and are completely stumped.

So am I.

So I need your help to try and solve this problem.  What do you do to either prevent it, or get rid of them?  I will try anything at this point just to have one shirt that remains arm pit stain free.  The only thing I won't do is start wearing tank tops.  I wouldn't want to subject you to that, that's just gross.  

You really don't want to see this

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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